Diary: 21 day process at the Oneness University – Part 2
08 Aug 21:25
The days go by… what day is it? My watch says Monday but I don’t know. There has been a lot of contemplation today, with the subject “God”.
What’s God to us? What is that present force that makes things just happen “out of the blue” when you need it the most?
All the details about this journey… how everything just worked out perfectly. There’s so much… like that I and Eva went here together is no coincidence. Without her I might not have had any place to sleep the first night (had problem with my hotel room reservation.. They misunderstood my reservation, but it turned out Eva’s room had two beds. Neither one of us knew that). The time when I calmed her down in the taxi when she was freaking out because she thought we where about to get mugged. She was about to open the taxi door in the middle of the road. We have been each other’s guardian angels in a way. She just new she should go to the preparatory course in Sweden to see if there was anyone to travel with. Coincidence? No.
I miscalculated the number of days left to the flight before the trip which led to me meeting Annette Carlström at a bus stop. Of course I told her that I was going to GC and she prayed from her heart that the process would give me everything I ever searched for.
Or the fact that my brain just started planning for the trip, just like that, one morning without me ever even having the thought that I should go. All these things… coincidence? No, this is the hand of god and the answer from god. God is always trying to show us through these out of the blue “lucky coincidences” coming from nowhere he/it/her/something is there, never giving up. Year after year, life after life. Until we see!. Now I see. How much love is that?. God WANTS us to see… waiting there for us. I’m deeply grateful and a couple of tears rolled down my face upon this realization today. God is Love!
Today we had deeksha and some “ritual”, I’m not writing about that. Insights are more important. I pray for my family. Mom, Dad, Björn, Fredrik, Patrik.
I’m starting to feel the presence of “God” in my chest and a kind of relationship is building up. Thank you. I think the “diarrhea-guy” is well now. It makes me happy!. Time to sleep. Namaste. (21:50).
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09 Aug, 21:47
Today we received a special deeksha. It all got about 3-4 hours delayed because the ones who where to give the deeksha are in such a high state of cosmic consciousness that they are pretty hard to “transport”. They move very slowly and have to be led and helped. Not very functional in this word on a physical level.
I got disappointed that I didn’t feel hardly anything from this “special deeksha”, but now half a day after I can see what happened.
I got disappointed, started to accuse everyone and everything, got angry, and then angry and disappointed at myself for accusing others completely ridiculous things like “who does he think he is? Sitting there in some yoga-posture showing off”. I saw my state of mind and felt depressed that I felt this way and that I couldn’t get out of it.
So I prayed to my friend who has been with me all my life, who has been present and helping all the time.
Nothing happened, but an extremely comical thought entered my mind (won’t explain it here) and I started laughing. Time after time. Then a fly landed right on the tip of my nose and somehow I found that extremely funny too and I laughed.
Now all the “troubling” emotions where just gone with the wind and I could not get them to emerge again. Gone. I like my new friend… 
And what was the very next thing that happened? A Dasa talking about that exact same subject I had just experienced. To run from your own suffering by dealing with all this inner stuff in all eternity. To blame others for our own suffering.. “Who’s fault is this?” etc. When you where 4 years old the story was that someone stole your toy, and today it’s things like people who wont leave you alone etc. Like they said in the very beginning here “You will get what you need, but probably not in the way you expected or wanted.”.
Later in the afternoon I contemplated over painful memories. Tears. Understanding. Love. We are going to dive really deep in to this the coming days. I want to. No more escaping. Namaste and Good night! (22:09).
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One more thing: During the meditations I see a lot of inner images on things like mushrooms, flowers, people etc and very often in extremely great numbers. Like a whole field filled with flowers, the same with the people and everything else, like just patterns of light etc.
Here in the Diary I have drawn an image supposed to look like hundreds or thousands of people. In the middle there is a big pillar of light and everyone is moving in to this light.
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Tags: Amma Golden city, Bhagavan, bliss code, bliss coded sound, deeksha, Meditation, oneness, xphirience